Monday, November 30, 2009

Grief

Over the weekend, my dads health has deteriorated. This man, once so tall and proud, is now confined to a hospital bed. His kidneys aren't functioning properly, his potassium level is dangerously high, blood work shows that he's had a heart attack sometime within the last two weeks. He is experiencing severe dementia symptoms and both his hips are now dislocated due to degenerative disease. My tall, strong dad will never walk again. 
 
In the dementia, he was trying to remove the IV's, and other assorted equipment. When the nurse tried to stop him, he became uncharacteristically combative and they had to put him in restraints. He's been experiencing mild dementia for a year or so... but this weekend, it roared through him. The doctor's believe this is tied to the high potassium levels. They don't promise that it will improve if they can get the potassium down, but they're 'hopeful'. That is of course, if he survives this. They have told us that a massive heart attack is imminent if they can't lower the potassium quickly.
 
How do you deal with the heartbreak of seeing your parent suffer these things? How do you adjust yourself to this new picture you have of them... especially when we all long to remember them in their days of strength. How do you grieve the loss of one so special and dear to your heart?



 I will trust in the Lord. I will rest in the knowledge that my father is being held by his Father. Our Father knows when a sparrow falls. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has prepared a mansion with many rooms. He has written my dads name in the Lamb's Book of Life and He is joyously anticipating the homecoming of his son... my dad. 
 
And when that day comes, whether it's now or ten years from now... though this earth will be poorer and my heart will be wrenched, Heaven will be even richer for me.
 
 
1 Peter 5:10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
 
Psalm 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
 

1 comment:

  1. oh, how that made me cry. I just heard the other news today ( that's for you to write about). How I know what you mean. My dad suffered from Parkinson's and I watched the daddy who loved and protected me, who took care of his family. A dear, intelligent, gentle man, decline tremendously.
    and the rest I will leave for another day.
    Just know you are in my prayers and I am not praying lightly but with much compassion.
    I love you, my precious, dear, friend

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